Monday, September 20, 2010

Why I Hate Nerds- Part I

Once upon a time, like some ten years ago, I was destined to become a nerd. After I got my O level results, I think it had pretty much been written down in blood. However, I soon realized that I needed a life more than I needed straight As, and so thankfully, I was spared of the ordeal.

I don't hate nerds because they are more motivated, disciplined or focused than me. Those are all admirable traits. I hate nerds simply because they are bloody annoying.

Nerds love to cry over marks. Crying over a dead kitten, or flood relief victims, or even clothes that the tailor ruined is understandable. Crying over one mark is not. I should elaborate that by crying I mean
a) wailing like a banshee, incensed at the audacity of the teacher to mess with their marks
b) yelling like a three year old baby high on crystal meth
c) smudging the ink on their papers with tears that spout from a fountain rivalled only by those of women in Star Plus soaps

There have been numerous instances, but I will recount just one. In my first year of university, there was this girl in my batch- still is- let's call her Uber Nerd. The first time the hourlies rolled by, and the results came out, I spotted a destitute and forlorn UN leaning against a pillar, bawling her lungs out, surrounded by two friends who were busy consoling her. I interrupted one of the friends to inquire why (I wasn't sympathetic, I was just curious) and asked her what had happened.

'UN got bad marks in an hourly,' Equally Nerdy friend gestured empatically.

I didn't bat an eyelash. 'So?'

'She's afraid that she'll get kicked out of IBA,' the friend elaborated, probably expecting me to make an equally miserable face and commiserate with UN. Which was so not happening.

'How much did she get?' I asked, not really interested now that I knew that she hadn't been struck by lightening or had had a meteorite crash into her home.

'Eighteen,' the friend hung her head sadly.

I moved away before I laughed myself to death. Hiccupped myself to death, to be more accurate.

Hourlies are out of 20. T-W-E-N-T-Y. Maybe I should've spelled it out for UN.

Right now, Uber Nerd has one of the highest GPAs in our batch and has made it to the Dean's list.


Saima Merchant said...

remember me in grade six lol.....the origin of my nick name ponstan......

saira hassan said...

18? seriously? dats a lil hard to believe!
n btw im really curious to kno who un is. how abt a lil innocent hint pls? :)

Shariq Noor said...

i got 5.6 in my first hourly in psychology BBA 1...2nd lowest in the proud of those marks..still one of my finest moments in IBA life...i loved collecting deficiency reports till they stopped sending it home...have 5

IBA doesnt teach you studies. it teaches Life and sooner the freshies realize this the better.

MK said...

Saima: We were kids back then. And our school did make us believe that getting bad marks was a sin. Now that you mention it, university is school all over again. With boys.

Sairah: Yes 18, and it is believable since UN was afraid that she wouldn't get an A. Not getting an A being equal to getting dropped out, I assume. And any other hints would make it very obvious, I've already said that she's from out batch. Go figure :P Hope curiosity doesn't kill you :P

Shariq: Haha! And yeah, IBA does teach us all that. But some people still hold an uber nerd mentality even in their last year at IBA, and that's despicable.

Uber Nerd said...

Hey, I am shoo cooolzzz..

I havezzz GPAzzz of 3.8zzzzz

Yusra Zainab Laghari said...

Hahahaa, nice post. And the irony is that there is no place where you won't find people like UN.

sarah said...

crying over clothes is understandable?thankyou maryam ;)

Nabeel said...

I remember this, you told me remember? .. ;)

MK said...

Uber Nerd: Haha, as if.

Sarah: Understandable in a RELATIVE way.

Nabeel: Haha, yes I did! :D